Recorded ecstasies of Saint Gemma Galgani

Ecstasies of Saint Gemma recorded by members of the Giannini family
(Selection of ecstacies recorded in the summer of 1902. The source for St Gemma's ecstasies is "Estasi-Diario-Autobiografia-Scritti Vari di Santa Gemma Galgani".

The following is an explanation of how they were recorded. At times when Gemma would feel that "her head would soon take off" she would hurriedly retire to her room, and close the door. Often noticing her departure, one or more of the Giannini family would go to her room and knock on the door. If she did not reply back, they would open the door and find her thus in ecstasy. They would then grab a pencil and paper and record what was being said. When they noticed her rapture coming to an end, they would then discreetly withdraw. Coming out of her transport a few moments later, she would find herself alone in her room. According to the testimony of Eufemia Giannini, Gemma never once knew that her words while in ecstasy were being recorded.
Below is a sworn written declaration of the two members of the Giannini family who were responsible for the transmission of Gemma’s ecstasies to posterity. -editor)

"By the advice and command of Reverend Father Germano, C.P., Gemma's spiritual director, we have been careful to take down, for more than three years, from the lips of' the Servant of God, all she said when rapt in ecstasy. This occurred often, as the holy girl lived in our house, it was not difficult for us to take turns in the performance of our task without her knowledge, the moreso because during these times she was out of her senses.
For God’s glory and the sake of the truth, we hereby declare to have written what we have heard during the raptures without any addition or alteration”
Signed,
Cecilia Giannini
Euphemia Giannini

Tuesday, June 10, 1902
"My God, open Your heart to me. Oh Jesus, open Your sacred breast to me, so I may place all my affections there. And you, oh Jesus, You said many times that You would wel­come me generously: is that true my Jesus?

How much I love You, oh Jesus. I thank you; but why do You behave so lovingly while I offend You with such ingratitude? This thought alone should make me become a flame of love, if only I could understand it well ... I love You, oh Jesus. What a fine love is mine, loving someone who does not get angry with those who offend Him ... Oh Jesus, if I were to consider attentively the great cares You show me, how I ought to excel in so many virtues! It's true, yes, I excel, oh Jesus, but in what? ... In sins. Forgive me, oh Jesus, my great negligence; forgive my great ignorance.

My God! Oh Jesus, my love, uncreated good! What would have become of me, oh Jesus, if Your kindness had not led me to You? ... Open Your heart to me, oh Jesus; open Your sacred breast to me . . . I open mine to You. . . Enter, oh Your di­vine fire ... burn me, oh Jesus, consume me ... I feel a fire in me, oh Jesus. May it be pleasing to You, oh Jesus, if I went up in a blaze! ...

Thursday, July 3, around 9:00am
Oh Jesus, I see You as greater than all the treasures if earth. Yes, my sweetest God, my most lovable Jesus: to my eyes You are greater than the greatest treasures on earth. How gladly I would unite with Your Angels! How gladly I would be consumed in Your praises! How gladly I would remain always before You!
But what do I say when I speak of You? ... I say what I can, never what I ought.

And if I do not know how ... will I stay silent? No, because my Jesus must be loved, honored by everyone! ....Do not look at what I say with my mind, look inside me ...

My every secret is manifest to You, oh Jesus ... So are you certain that I love You more than the sky and the earth? Indeed, all earthly things worthy of being loved exist only to glorify Your heart ...I have loved You, oh Jesus. Grant me to love You even more, so that my thoughts turn only to You, all day, and all night, even while sleeping ... I wish my spirit to talk always with You, my soul to converse always with You. I wish that my heart should always be enlightened with Your holy light; that You should be my love, my guide ... I wish to fly from virtue to virtue ... if not, then I shall be unable to come to Heaven to see You; it's been so long since I last saw You. But to come to Heaven requires purity of heart; give it to me, my Jesus ... Yes, I so desire purity of heart! ...

Thursday, July 3, 11:00am.
Who am I to start talking to Jesus like this, every minute? ... Oh Heaven, oh
Heaven, let me think of you! ... At least when I shall be up there, I shall no longer suffer, I shall no longer endure the sufferings and the pains down here. Oh Heaven! in you there will no longer be nights, nor darkness, nor changes, nor time ... Oh Heaven! in you there will no longer be ... ..Only God of God, light of light, sun of justice, who enlightens; His immaculate heart will give you sunshine ... be­cause consolation is to contemplate God, the king of kings at the center of Heaven.
How great! ... What consolation, my soul, to be surrounded by the angels, by his favorites!
Everyone's merits are not equal, but each has its happiness. Oh my soul! ... Oh Heaven! ... You will see, when I am with you I shall be satiated, I will no longer have need, not of…… ..
Oh God ... let me be engulfed in the charity of your love ... Oh Heaven! ...
Will I be deemed worthy to see your holy walls? . . . Will I be deemed worthy to see
your foundations, your inhabitants, your King? I commend myself to you, holy
Angels, to you my guardian Angel: open the door.......let me in ...

Monday, August 18, around 10:00am
Jesus ... give me a little strength ... dear Jesus! ...
Is it better to receive You than to see You? Truly it is better ... yes, yes! ... I am affiicted, oh Lord, because I think that even if for years and years like the Angels I should prepare myself, still I would never be worthy to receive You [in holy Communion –editor] And then, You see how ill-disposed I come! ...
So tell me: what is the bed ... where You sleep so well in my heart?
But is there such peace in my heart? Is there this tranquility in my soul? No, I do not wish reassurance, I want to live in Your holy fear.
Something else afflicts me ... Do you remember, oh Lord? There was a time when I had completely forgotten Your infinite beauty and I preferred the dust of the earth.
Oh Jesus, answer my questions ... It is sweet to confess my wretchedness before You! You know it better than I; You know well that I indulged my eyes in everything, and for whatever reason, and that I never deprived my heart of anything ... Help me, oh Lord! ... Let me throw myself at Your feet once again! ... I still love faith, and I repeat a thousand times and will repeat forever: better to receive You than to see You ... But tell me, oh Lord, with what food should I nourish you? ... Communicate Your clear light to me, communicate Your divine ardor ... Oh my God, how can I reciprocate? With the strength of love? ... It would be necessary to love You with a most faithful love, with real love ...
Do you remember, oh Lord, that time when You told me that my heart was a muddle of affections, which did not please You? ...
I find myself more timid in the matters of my affections. Oh my Jesus, oh my Jesus! ... How much You are worthy to be loved! The angels are right never to be satiated in singing that beautiful hymn to You! That is what I should do, and what all earthly creatures should do; instead ...
I shall love You, I shall love You always; when day breaks, when evening turns into night, at every hour, at every moment; I shall love You always, always, always.

Tuesday, June 17
My Jesus, I am consumed ... I die ... I die for You ... Jesus, food of strong souls,
fortify me, purify me, make me divine. Great God . . . God of every sacrifice, Jesus help me ... My redeemer, God from God, come to my aid. Your eyes, oh Jesus, watch continuously over me. I thirst for You, oh Jesus. Do You not see how I suffer in the morn­ing before I feed on You? ... After I have fed on You, at least let me remain full! ...

Around Friday, June 20
Where are You, my God? I feel instantly restored as soon as I can raise my voice in
praise of You; but since the joy is brief, my soul instantly falls back into its abyss ... Live in tranquility; you shall see that darkness will pass and light will follow; be happy, hope in Jesus, only in Jesus ....

Sunday, June 22
Oh Jesus, You are the magnet of all my affections. If Your greatness, oh Jesus, can reach down to the most vile of all creatures such as I, well then help me to repair all the damages I have done with my sins. My Jesus! ... Oh, I am not frightened, because I live under the providence of a Heaven filled with compassion . . .

Dear Jesus, I love you so much! ... I shall try always to love you; I shall live to love you ... I shall die to love you. Dear Jesus, Dear Jesus!
...I too, oh Jesus, have a great desire to love You in return!
Yes, You have given me so much! I shall do everything for You; everything You ask of me. But what can you expect, oh Jesus, from a creature of slime, able only to offend You? ...
I long for Heaven. . . When will I pass, oh Jesus, from darkness to light, from death to life? ... from fear of losing You to certainty that I possess You? ... When will I be entirely satiated in Your divine beauty? . . . When will I be entirely lost in Your divine light? ... But what light? ... A light that is immense, inextinguishable, infinite, divine ... Oh Jesus, when, oh Jesus? ...
Why then, oh my God, do you see me suffer so much? ... Is it because, Jesus, you dislike this desire in me? ... Who else put it in my heart if not you? ...
Come, come, oh Jesus, come to take me, come restore me a little ...

Friday, June 27
To you the Saints, oh Jesus, and the humble of heart; not me, oh Lord. To You all
the spirits and souls of all the just; not me, oh Lord. To You all the inhabitants of Heaven, not me ... May they all give You infinite praise and thanks. But me too, me too, oh Jesus. . . Yes, I a vile and unworthy sinner desire to love You, with a unique love. Help me, You who are my strength. Fire, fire in my heart: this morning it's burning! ... Words in my mouth ... May I be able day and night to meditate on Your glory and love You continuously. Impure are my lips, impure my entire body.

I need You: that You cleanse me of every stain. Sanctify me, oh Jesus. May Your mem­ory, Your sweetness keep my soul always united with You. Make me pass from the visible to the invisible, from earthly things to the heavenly.

Oh my God, my Jesus! . . . What are You saying, oh Jesus? . . . Oh true char­ity, You are my God because toward You I feel that I am always moving; toward You I feel I am always carried; toward You I hope always to reach. When I speak with You I feel revived, but when you leave me I feel lost, fallen……
Faith teaches me this, the faith You have placed in my heart to illuminate my way ... Grant, oh my God, that whoever knows You, knows truth, knows eternity. You, for as long as I live in this fragile body….

These are the words that my Father has taught me: who resembles You, oh my God? ... Who resembles You, oh my God? ... Who? .. You are God capable of everything. My Jesus, true charity, You are my God!……


Saturday, June 28
Lord, if You wish, You can save me; but the number of the sins that I carry with me is
great, and really they are infinite. Remember, oh Jesus, Your mercy!...

I hoped, oh Jesus, as I confessed so many times before You, to be self-sufficient in something; I hoped in my own strength ... But when I began to act on my own, that was when I fell and lost all You had allowed me to gain. But soon after, oh Jesus, You illuminated me, and then I understood that in what I thought I could be self ­sufficient in, was exactly what I never could have done on my own. I had the will, but I lacked strength; I had the strength but lacked the will ...

Before You I have absolutely nothing to boast about! . . . You loved me, oh Jesus ... You preferred me to so many creatures. I am happy with your favors but I understand more and more my own sinfulness ... Expect nothing from me . . . What can you expect from a bit if slime, able only to offend You? ...

Sunday, June 29, at 10:30am.
Who will give me the feathers of an eagle; who will give me the wings of a dove so I may fly to You? ... You should give me, oh Jesus, the wings of contemplation. How am I going to fly to You? So many things to go through! ... Go through all of creation; break these chains that prevent me from flying to You . . .

There are many other things, oh Jesus, that nourish my soul when I contemplate them ... but in none of them do I remain satiated, in none do I find repose. Only in You, oh Jesus, only in You does this soul of mine find repose.

Sunday, June 29, at 4:00pm
Oh Jesus, how are You doing in the narrow cell of my heart? Are You all right? Dilate my chest, because it is no longer big enough to contain You ... Jesus, allow me to pour out my affections with You ...
Lord... my Jesus, when my lips near yours to kiss You, let me feel your gall. When my shoulders rest on yours, let me feel your scourges. When your flesh communicates with mine, let me feel your Passion. When my head nears yours, let me feel your Crown of thorns. When my side touches yours, let me feel the lance.
Oh! What shall I ever give You for all the gifts that You have given me?... for having loved and comforted me? ... And You, what canYou expect from me, a vile crea­ture? ... I shall give you my all... My soul, bless Jesus! ... Never forget the many gifts He has given you. You see, at every moment, at every instant I think of You, and I find You, and I see You among so many gifts, in such sweetness, and I find You always ...
Love that God who loves you so; lift yourself to Him, who has stooped so low for you. Do you not see how vigilant He is? And you, oh my soul, behave like He behaves with you; be spotless ... be pure…Love your Jesus, who has rescued you from such wretchedness . . . Love your God . . . Bless your Lord . . .

June or July (precise date not recorded)
Let me embrace You, celestial bridegroom, source of all my consolations. Who am I, to speak so boldly with You? It is true, I am your creature, but I am bad; it's true that I was made by Your hands, and those very hands, oh Jesus, I pierced with nails ... I got going too late, Jesus, in coming to You ... I found You, Jesus; I found You, Jesus. I call You, I invoke You, because I am sure…….

But where are You, where are You hiding? I can smell Your presence. Give me wings, oh Jesus, to fly to your house in Heaven! ...

Wednesday, August 6, around 9:00am
Dear Jesus, paradise of charity, wonder of love! I am confused by so many graces, oh Lord, and if You do not help me I shall become ever more ignorant; in the abundance of so many favors, I shall become yet worse and worse . . .
What would I like? I would like, oh Lord, You to assist me ... yes, I would not want to come in such poor condition to receive You. Make me worthy of You, or at least a little more deserving . .

By what means, oh Jesus? ... With the infinite merit of Your most precious Blood!
Tell me, oh Jesus, do You find pleasure in being with me? I truly find everything in this. The more I think of You, the more I realize that You are so sweet and lovable!
Well, beloved Jesus, what do You demand of me, what do You demand? ...
I love You because You are my benefactor, my creator, my guardian . . . You con­sume my soul and make it divine. And because You are the bridegroom of my soul ... I always seek You; I seek Your affection, Your friendship, Your glory ... if You help me, I will never fail, because......

Thursday, August 7, around 9:00am
I would like to have in this instant, oh Eternal Father, the heart of all the Angels, the
heart of all the Saints, of all the elect, even of my celestial Mother; indeed, I would like that of your Son, to offer them all in Your glory and honor.

Beloved Jesus . . . Let's pretend, oh Lord, that you are me and I am Jesus . . . What do you mean, what would I do? I would stop being me, so that You could be, oh God…..

Why, oh Lord do You light up all of myself with Your divine fire, with the fire of Your love? I would like to inflame all the creatures of the earth! ...
Oh yes, I could do it! ... You see, my Jesus, I have such great confidence in You that even if I saw the gates of Hell open, and I found myself at the edge of the abyss, I would not despair. And even if I saw Heaven and Hell against me, still I would not mistrust Your mercy, because I would put my faith in You. You are so compassionate, so merciful! . . .

I have wounded You, I have wounded You greatly ...You say it is a cruelty to wound any creature; oh, what cruelty must be mine, that I have wounded my God…a God ... a Creator ... a celestial goodness! ... You granted me so many graces, so many favors; You saved me in a marvelous way, and yet my heart does not melt! ... How can you, my heart, see the only Son of the Eternal Father on the cross and not die? ...

Thursday, August 7, around 11:00am
Oh Jesus, Jesus! Is it You again? ... Yes, I want You at every hour, at every moment. Yes! ... My soul, be firm in your resolves. My soul, do you see Jesus?.....
I am yours, I am yours, Jesus ...
But by so much graciousness, by so much love, what power would not be con­quered, what willfulness would not be swept away?

Oh Jesus, You would have reason to complain about me, yes, because I offended You... Unworthy as I am, I should return to the altar so many stolen hosts, so much blood ... But I promise to make amends; as long as You continue the flow of your fa­vors ... Why are You raising me to Heaven from the slime where I am? ...
Rather than let me lack faith and love for You, make me die ... Better to live in suffering than to live as a sinner. . .
What do You want? What do You want, oh Jesus? ... That my love should be firm? I shall nourish it every day with your Body and your Blood; and after I am stuffed with your Blood……

Friday, August 8, around 9:00am
When, oh Lord, will I give in completely to Your sweet calls? ... When will I
completely? . . .
And what do You get out of my ingratitude? ... Maybe I am united with You in body, but in heart? ... No, no, my heart is Yours! You see, oh Jesus: You are a strong King, generous, who wages battles and then always wants victories. Allow me the grace to surrender to all Your calls, to love You with the tenderness of affection.
My beloved Jesus ... how poor you have become! ... Why do You need me so much? ... And even if You were poor for real, how could I assist You? ... Here it is, oh Lord, my body which is a fistful of dust, and my soul, which instead my Lord makes great . . . Oh my soul!.....My Jesus!....With what love, oh Jesus, can I reciprocate? ... Come on, Jesus, let's leave! Let's go, let's go ... to your Heaven! Oh! but no, no we can not leave just yet, Jesus, no; because I am afraid, I fear ... Did You not say, oh Lord, that Heaven is for those who live in the world, but have no worldly concerns? ... Did You not say that Heaven is for the innocents? ... And me? ..
With me, what will You do? ... What will you do with me, oh Lord? ... Per­haps, oh Lord, you alone know why You keep me on earth . . . Why do you not deign to tell someone? ...

Saturday, August 9, 9:00am
To what I said and promised this morning in Holy Communion, You must contribute,
so that with your precious Blood I could be purified ….
Yes ... You will do it ... yes! ... I realized that You wanted that prayer, and I took Your strong desire upon myself, to Your advantage ... And because my need is extreme, oh Lord, and the moment is right, I prayed that You to come right away, beloved Jesus. Help me to quicken this desire ... Give me a hand in this task. And when You have made me pure and clean, then yes, I will do everything; I will say my own prayer, and at every hour, at every moment. . .

I would not want my pupils to be further blinded by the radiance of this most au­gust Sacrament [Eucharist -editor]... You always give Yourself to me and I become worse and worse. This thought so gets me down! ...But then, aren't You coming in the Sacrament? ... In It is a force that purifies, a virtue that destroys all sins. Oh yes, come, come sacramental Jesus! ...

Saturday, August 9, around 10:00am
Beloved Jesus! . . . When I see the good souls come, oh Lord, to enjoy the delights of Your Heaven in holy Communion, I feel compassion; but when You accept bad souls like me, then ...

Oh Lord, You come to me entirely as love, and I come to you as a sinner, one so lazy. Oh Lord, let me say it . . . perhaps in giving me these things You debase them too much ... or else You want a total change in my life? ... What shall I do to be pleas­ing to You? Do You want me, oh Lord, to change your Crown of thorns into a crown of lilies?....

To whom should I turn? ... To all your Saints? ... But if I pay You with the merits of others, my debt always remains open ... I always remain aware of the many favors You grant me ... I am a sinner ... a soul provided for only by You! ...

Stop with your gifts; if not, give me the grace to take pleasure in all of them. Hear me, oh Lord; if not, put a limit on Your generosity…..

Saturday, August 9, 11:30am
. . . In the sacramental word, open up to me . . .Rather than remain deprived of the Bread of Life ... A passionate lover as You oh Lord, does not need so much pleading: at the first request, he understands immediately ...

Sunday, August 10, the Feast of Saint Lawrence, around 9am
I understood your graciousness, my Creator. Nothing is left for me but to humiliate my
soul before Your majesty, which I intend to do right now.
My dear Jesus, what confusion this morning! ... You wanted me to turn my mind toward Saint Lawrence, oh Lord, but what did You do? ... To one of your most beloved followers, always in the midst of sufferings, and then I with my ungrateful heart ... I am confused, what with thinking about him in the midst of pain, and then me with the Host enjoying all the sweetness of Heaven. Oh Heart of my Jesus, Heart too sweet! If You wish to give me a similar part, always in the midst if pain, oh Lord, go right ahead; if then You want me to enjoy greater rewards, go right ahead: just be sure that I always come to You with fear of offending You.

I put together two souls: that of a saint and that of a sinner [St Lawrence and herself -editor]. . . What else but confusion could I find this way? I wanted by means of this same saint to offer myself, because if I did not, I believed I would be negligent in my duty; I am afraid; I am afraid because before You I know my soul to be guilty toward You. I want You to see my soul as beautiful, as Your hands gave it to me. Impossible! ... I no longer can! ... Look, my soul is all bound with chains, and when You gave it to me, it was bound with roses! When You gave it to me, it was resplendent like the sun, and now? See how it is totally deformed! ... Oh! ... It deserves…….

What were you saying about me? ...

Dear Jesus, dear Jesus! ... Is it You who speaks to me this way? ... Is it You? ... Repeat it to me . . Let me hear it more clearly . . . Say it to me again . . . anew. . . anew. . . once more . . . May You be blessed! ...
And this morning You found in me…..

Sunday, August 10, around 10:00am
... My Jesus! ... Yes, my Jesus ... my affectionate Lord! ... Jesus who keeps me bound with such force of love . . . Jesus who loves me, who feels only compassion for my wretchedness ... He is the true Jesus ... You see, my God: if You gave so many graces, so many gifts, so many favors to a soul who could compensate you with a good store of virtues, your kindness would be well compensated, but if You give them the way You give them to me, only in the name of Your mercy…..No, there's no harm in it, oh Lord: what You do is always well done……But at least give me the grace to be able to please You . . .

But I love You too! ... I do not love You only for your gifts, You know! I love You because You are my Jesus . . . I love You because You are the only one worthy to be loved by me . . . I love You because You are always so good . . . I love You because You prom­ised, You swore, not to abandon me ... I love You for all purposes, oh Lord! ...

Monday, August 11, around 9:00am
Oh love, oh infinite love! ... Strip me of this flesh; either tear me out of this body or stop, because I cannot go on ... My body, oh Lord, can no longer stand being con­tinually consumed, so, either remove me from this earth or stop ...
Oh love, oh infinite love! ... Oh your love I shall never, never be disposessed! ... Oh love! Oh pleasure of love! ... Oh love that so delights me ...that never torments me! Oh love, Your love, oh Jesus ... I shall never share you with anyone! ... This bit of love that I possess, I shall not share even with the Saints in Heaven, nor with earthly creatures. To you, Saints in Heaven, to you, earthly crea­tures, all the virtues; but this bit of love is mine. I want no one ahead if me in the love of Jesus!

Oh love, oh infinite love! ... See: Your love, oh Lord, Your love penetrates even to my body, with too much fury. When, when will I unite with You, oh Lord, Who with such force of love keeps me in union here on earth? ... Do it, do it! ... Let me die, and die of love! ... What a beautiful death, oh Lord, to die a victim of love ... a victim for You!

Calm down, calm down oh Jesus; if not, Your love will end up burning me to ashes! ... Oh love, oh infinite love! ... Oh love of my Jesus! ... Let Your love penetrate my all; from You I want nothing else. My God, my God, I love You! Per­haps I love You too little, oh Jesus? ... Are you not happy? ...

But this needs to come from You, if You want me to love You more. Indeed, I should love You with a unique love.

Oh! I have told you so many times, oh Lord: if my life does not end in seeing the suffering of Someone who loves me so much, what other pain do You think could bring about my death? ...

I told you it is enough, oh Lord, what you have suffered for me and for sinners. Yes, enough! ... My shoulders shall replace Yours in bearing the cross! ...

“Yes, Jesus loves me so much, because my every breath is His, my every desire is His, my every affection is His…” –St Gemma Galgani